I have been noticing a trend lately. This trend is the most vial, gut-wrenching, rotten, ugly thing to happen in recent memory. Well, OK, it's not that bad, but it is pretty darn annoying. I'm talking about the number of people who have stopped using normal periods, and replaced them with ellipses.
Everywhere you go (online that is), people are using '...' instead of the proper '.' Now, I'm definably not a grammar master, but this just isn't right. Sure, the occasional ellipse mark is necessary when trailing of, continuing something, or another neato effect, but it's not meant to replace periods, question marks, and exclamation marks.
If you haven't seen what I mean, just visit a message board and you are sure to find one of these crazy people. In fact, I think they were sent here to get rid rid of normal sentence ending marks, and release them all with ellipses. To quote the Faculty, "If you were and invading alien force, would you rather try to take over independence style, or sneak in through the back door?"
 Could it really be? |
That is exactly what these alien beings are doing. By replacing our beloved periods, question marks, and exclamation marks, they are going first take over our languages, and then our lives. Soon we will be slaves to this superior race, as we will have no way to fight back. They must have somehow gotten their hands on George Orwell's 1984, and figured by eliminating one's back talk, you eliminate all resistance.
 No! They got Homer! |
Could this be the first wave of the Borg? They could be using guerrilla assimilation tactics until they develop a fleet large enough, and advanced enough to put fear in the hearts of everybody. If this is the case, and that's where my money lies, we have to take affirmative action and resist these things with all our strength. This is not futile!
Lock up your doors, use email filters, wear the proper eye protection, and most of all never ever use ellipses for ending every sentence... Hey... What's going on here... Get away... No... Please, somebody help me... HELP...
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Arbitrary Quote - I finally came up with a punishment for the boy. First, no leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg nog. In fact, no nog period! And third, absolutely no stealing for three months!